As you have moved through my blog, through the limited updates that I have made there is a trend. Survival, but finding the balance to still thrive. There is also the trend that March is the anniversary of Kayla’s tumor diagnoses. There are years that I struggle with this concept, and other times that I find the silver lining, that we are fortunate to have more life together. This is honestly my truth, I cycle through grief and joy, and often only walk the bridge to stand on it. I am so fortunate everyday that I get to share another day with her, to ask her about her day and allow her to discover who she is and what she wants to be in the world.
Earlier this week, I received news that a friend from a place that I loved, lost her son unexpectedly, my heart broke. I just remained still, allowed my heart to ache, to the empathize the little I could based on my current state, and to later crawl into my daughter’s bed to just hold her teenage self, for just a little longer. I understand, how finite our human existence is, but it is heart wrenching to see these precious lives leave so soon. I still fortunately get to hug, hold and laugh with my daughter, but my heart still hurts for my friend. My heart ache is always there, deep in my soul, but is usually tucked away, to allow for the beauty that life lends.
March is heavy for me in many ways; there is so much change, good, bad, bittersweet and tragic. Everyday holds something for someone, I feel if we can extend empathy to all those we encounter, we can create ease, to allow people to move across the bridge from grief to living again, regardless of how that looks.